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Pigs

Posted by DMC on 15 September 2009 in Jokes |

A man was driving his large Bentley down a winding country  lane. As he approached a sharp corner he met a lady in a Mini who was forced to mount the grass verge to avoid the Bentley. She wound down her window and shouted out, “Pig!” The driver of the Bentley was so annoyed that […]

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Tents

Posted by DMC on 15 September 2009 in Jokes |

A man who went to see his doctor. “I’m not well, doctor.  There’s something wrong with me.  In the mornings I think I’m a wigwam, and in the afternoon I think I’m a marquee”. The doctor examined him and said, “I’m going to give you a sedative. You’re two tents…”

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Broken Fingers

Posted by DMC on 15 September 2009 in Jokes |

Talking of achievement reminds me of the man who went to the doctor with a broken finger.  The doctor put it in the splint. “Will I be able to play the piano, when it’s better?”, he asked the doctor. “I don’t see why not”, said the doctor. “Funny”, said the man, “I’ve never been able […]

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Pub Joke 1

Posted by DMC on 15 September 2009 in Jokes |

A man went into a pub. “Good evening, sir”, said the landlord, what would you like to drink? “A large whiskey thank you”, said the man. “That will £3.50”, said the landlord. “No”, said the man, “I distinctly remember you invited me to have a drink. I thought it was very kind of you”. The […]

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World Monopoly Champion

Posted by DMC on 15 September 2009 in Anecdotes |

I will recount how became the first joint world Monopoly champion in 1977. Messrs. Waddington – the producers of Monopoly – and the Financial Times got together and  threw out a challenge to find the world Monopoly champion. In fact it was the first joint world champions as one of the rules laid down was […]

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