Posted by DMC on Feb 6, 2010 in
Jokes If you’re over 50, you’ll think this is hilarious!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning, Uphill…. Barefoot….
BOTH WAYS !!!!!
Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that… I’m over the ripe old age of fifty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today…
You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something,we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!!
No spell-check either, we had to look that up, too!!!
Don’t bring up math. There were no calculators! (Do you even know what ‘times tables’ are?)
There was no email!!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn ‘record store’ and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’d usually talked over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished and the tape would come undone, ’cause that’s how we rolled, dig?
We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else calledthey got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
Your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances.
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’, ‘Asteroids’, and ‘Pong’. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen…forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE !
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning… We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons.
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove … Imagine that!
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or before !
Regards,
The over 50 Crowd
Posted by DMC on Feb 6, 2010 in
Jokes If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mother’s
…then adopt a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want …
…then adopt a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies
…then adopt a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores
..then adopt a dog !
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually
..then adopt a dog..
BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness .,
.
.
..then adopt a cat!
You…
….have a GREAT Day!!!
Posted by DMC on Feb 6, 2010 in
Videos You have to see this. Check this mind boggling information.
You’ve never seen a clock like this one……….
http://www.poodwaddle.com/worldclock.swf
Posted by DMC on Feb 6, 2010 in
Videos
Posted by DMC on Feb 8, 2010 in
Diary I am beginning to have problems manipulating my electric toothbrush to clean my teeth. My hands are simply too weak to twist the brush in different directions. However I’m managing for the time being but I don’t think it will be too long before I have to get ‘my lovely’ to do it for me. Heaven knows how she will manage. She doesn’t really approve of electric toothbrushes.
Tags: teeth, weak hands
Posted by DMC on Feb 9, 2010 in
Diary Nail day – feet and hands. Although I have these done privately at home, at my own cost, I am sanguine that between Sir Alan Haselhurst (the Deputy Speaker of the House of Commons and my local MP) and I, a free fingernail cutting service will shortly be introduced, by The Essex County Council, for all elderly people in Essex.
Tags: grooming, nails
Posted by DMC on Feb 12, 2010 in
Diary Lunch today at my favourite restaurant, Sheekeys, off Charing Cross Road, with my dear old 92-year-old friend, Geoffrey Hanscomb. He was in great form with nothing more than the occasional touch of gout – in his case a medical condition rather than a by product of an excess of alcohol! I wonder whether this will be our last Sheekey lunch and which of us will go first? As his executor I really ought to hang around longer than he does. It is a bit of a struggle for both of us. I travelled by train to Liverpool Street station, underground to Tottenham Court Road and walked from there. Unfortunately, I started off down Oxford Street having got confused by all the hoardings put up for the Crossrail reconstruction of Tottenham Court Road Underground station. This added around 100 yards to the walk from Tottenham Court Road Station to the other side of Trafalgar Sq Underground Station. It is quite a stretch and was just about as far as I could manage with my legs. Anyway, I wonder how much longer I shall be able to walk that sort of distance.
Once in the restaurant, having arrived before my host, I decided to have a pee to make room for the champagne to come. This was accomplished by soliciting the assistance of one of the young waiters to stand guard outside the door of the disabled loo, as I can no longer manipulate the lock, and they once I had done my business, assist me to adjust my dress. He didn’t seem to mind but then what choice do I have. Similarly, when it came to ‘ dressing up’ with my two wrist supports, apron, wipeable sleeve and shoover, these were all put on in the best of humour by one of the Polish waiters.
When it came to going home, although ‘my lovely’ had insisted that I got a taxi, I was loath to do so, having had such a bad experience getting in and out of the taxi last week following and opted to travel by bus. I got back to Liverpool Street Station on the Number 23 bus but stupidly took the wrong turning and went down Duncannon Street, missing the main bus stop and found that I had to walk almost a complete distance of the Strand before I found a stop. When the bus arrived the driver, noticing my difficulty in stepping up, lowered the step which I thought was very decent of him.
Tags: friends, lunch
Posted by DMC on Feb 13, 2010 in
Diary KUNG GONG XI FA CAI the message sent to 40 or so of my Chinese friends and colleagues being now or thereabouts, the Chinese New Year. Of course, if I’ve been really smart I would have differentiated between those who speak Mandarin and those who are Cantonese, who for them, I am given to understand, the greeting then would have been KUNG HAI FAT CHOI.
Tags: Chinese New Year
Posted by DMC on Feb 14, 2010 in
Diary I don’t know about the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown being described, by Sarah his wife, as quite romantic for a man, I consider I have always been romantic. Today, I had delivered a beautiful bouquet of a dozen red roses for ‘my lovely’ which I gave her together with an enormous sloppy Valentine card. I’m sure much appreciated. On her part she had been to M & S and splashed out on one of their special celebratory St Valentine’s Day meals. Delicious and excellent value. I thought.
England had a lacklustre win against the Italians in Rome, in the 6 Nations Rugby championship. They will have to perform a lot better than that if they have any ambitions to win the championship.
A reader from Canada introduced me to a very funny lady, Jeanne Robertson. I have downloaded one of her monologues entitled ‘Don’t send a man to the grocery store’. If you enjoy that I suggest you log into http://www.itunes.com/JeanneRobertson and look at some of her other material.
Tags: romance, rugby
Posted by DMC on Feb 15, 2010 in
Diary Today two representatives from the Health and Design Technology Institute from Coventry University came to see me about some of the various gadgets I have invented to assist in daily living. I gave details of five different ideas, one of which was the Feeding Frame, which I’ve mentioned from time to time in this blog. I cannot disclose the nature of the other four ideas until I have had the opportunity to protect my intellectual property rights but in due course I will be able to tell my readers about these exciting idea. They were very encouraging about all five ideas and have gone away to prepare a proposal to develop the first of these with a view to getting it to point where I can disclose it to an internationally-based organisation who might find it sufficiently exciting to manufacture and distribute it, hopefully worldwide. I’m not holding my breath, but who knows.
Tags: feeding frame, gadgets
