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12 January 2011

Posted by DMC on 13 January 2011 in Diary |

The first night with the new respiratory mask proved to be a bit of a nightmare. With the humidifier fitted the moist air seemed heavier and more difficult to breathe. Whenever I attempted to turn over, for example, I found myself gasping for air. We telephoned Lucy early this morning and she kindly agreed to speak to Alice, earlier this evening, to re-set the machine to increase the air pressure and also to lower the temperature of the water.

Derek, our faithful plumber, came today to make some adjustments to the radiators in the room in which I sleep. I also got him to tighten up the fixing bolts on the Bio-Bidet, which somehow seemed to have worked loose. I cannot speak too highly of this ‘wash and dry’ loo it does enable someone with my disabilities to retain an element of dignity.

I received some very amusing photographs of notices, mainly translated from the Chinese, where the true meaning was ‘Lost in Translation‘. I reproduce these in the Photo section not in the spirit of poking fun at the Chinese but more enjoying a laugh with them, after all how many of us could even begin to translate and English notice into Mandarin?

I cannot resist one final poke at the Australian Cricketers which came in today from a friend. Heaven knows how long it will be before the boot is on the other foot. You non-cricketing fans can skip this bit.

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An Australian batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What would Jimmy Anderson be if he was Australian?
A. An all rounder.

Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. Why don’t Australian fielders need pre tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What’s the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Ponting?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.


Q. What do Australian batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will
come from.

Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.

Q. What does Ryan Harris put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat

Now for the one day series.

‘Jane the sheep’ came this afternoon to ‘babysit’ me whilst Alice went shopping but unfortunately Jane still had the remnants of a cold and accordingly. considerately did not massage my hands just in case she was still slightly contentious.

Steve White, the local MND Association volunteer rang this afternoon. Steve is in charge of this area and has around 30 MND patients whom he telephones, from time to time, to see how they are doing. Steve himself is a living miracle as he has had MND for around 20 years which has only affected his legs and nothing else – he must be almost unique in this respect. However, he did tell me that three of his 30 MND patients have also plateaued and not substantially deteriorated over the past three years. All of this is very encouraging. Who knows, I might plateau, but when where – arms, legs, diaphragm (my hands have already gone)?

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