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9 August 2011

Posted by DMC on 10 August 2011 in Diary |

My brother-in-law Lauren Grand’s 80th. birthday many happy returns of the day, Lol.

My taxi driver advertised for two drivers. He had 30 applicants, not one of them British. In the end the jobs went to 2 Eastern Europeans. Who said there weren’t any jobs out there? The stark truth is that there are jobs but the British nationals are better off on benefit, so why bother!

Tuesday, therefore geriatric golf day and what a beautiful day was, warm and sunny. Nothing much to report there except that Griggsy, now an octogenarian – and does he ever let us forget it! -to the shock horror, of his golfing mates is hitting off the yellow (junior) tees! What is the world coming to?! The boys at the club were wowed by my new combined smoke and drink stand.

The riots and carnage continues unabated in half a dozen towns and cities around the country. The Prime Minister has cut short his holiday to deal with the matter personally and has promised a sharp increase in the number of police available on the streets to deal with the troublemakers.

For today’s light touch here is some advice and instructions taken from actual US military sources. Some of these guys must have had a sense of humour

“Aim towards the enemy.”
–Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.”
–U.S. Marine Corps

“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.”
–USAF Ammo Troop

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.”
–Infantry Journal

“A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.”
–Army’s magazine of prevention maintenance

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.”
–U.S. Air Force manual

“Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo.”
–Infantry Journal

“Tracers work both ways.”
–U.S. Army Ordnance

“Five-second fuses only last three seconds.”
–Infantry Journal

“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.”
–David Hackworth

“If your attack is going too well, you’re walking into an ambush.”
–Infantry Journal

“No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.”
–Joe Gay

“Any ship can be a minesweeper….once.”
–Anon

“Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do.”
–Unknown Marine Recruit

“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.”
–Infantry Journal

“If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.”
–USAF Ammo Troop


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