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22 August 2011

Posted by DMC on 23 August 2011 in Diary |

in the middle of the night on my radio that Gaddafi has been surrounded in Tripoli and although the rebels do not know precisely where he is it seems it might only be a matter of time now before he is captured , dead or alive!.

Having found one excuse or another not to go out into the garden in my electric wheelchair over the past few days I was absolutely determined that, sun or not , I would venture out today. In fact, the weather looked set fair, the sun was shining and indeed it was quite hot reaching something in the order of 25°C. So I sat shirtless, in the garden, topping up my vitamin D for the winter to come, listening to Test Match Special, which is almost as good as watching the cricket live on Sky.

The last day of the cricket proved to be absolutely fascinating. The overnight batsmen Tendulkar and Mishra batted through the morning session and were still together in the afternoon taking India’s score to 264 for 3. They looked immovable and were taking India inexorably towards a drawn game. Then Mishra was out followed a few balls later by Tendulkar who got agonisingly close to his 100th. Test match hundreds when he was lbw (leg before wicket) for 91.

India’s tail then crumbled and England won by an innings and 8 runs1 with Swann taking six wickets. So it was a whitewash for England who won the series 4 nil confirming,, beyond any doubt,, that they deserve the world number one slot

For those non-cricketing readers here is a bit of fun for you. The following are, apparently, actual conversations that took place between customers and their airport ticket agent. This was sent to me via an American so I can take no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of the comments.

 

 

The sender suggests that these are examples of why America is in such a mess. I make no comment but leave the reader to make up his /her mind. 

1.  I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
 
2.  I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ….”Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ”Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ”
his response — click.
 
3.  A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package  we did.  I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando .  He said he was expecting an       ocean-view room.  I tried t o explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, ‘don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!” (OMG)
 
4.  I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see England from Canada ?”
I said, ”No.”
She said, ”But they look so close on the map.” (OMG, again!)
 
5.  An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh)
 
6.  An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky)  called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn’t understand   the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
 
7.  A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’
He replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
 
8.  A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?”
 
9.  I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright  from Ala who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?”
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them.”
 
10.  Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ”I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”
 
11. Mary Landrieu , La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she   needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”
 
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ”I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .”
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”
‘Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”
”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ”You don’t mean Buffalo , do you?”
The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it’s in!
 
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