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Boner

Posted by DMC on 6 July 2011 in Jokes, Videos |

Boner

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Never mess with Australian women

Posted by DMC on 26 March 2011 in Jokes |

  The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai girl. He gave […]

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Paddy and Mick

Posted by DMC on 26 March 2011 in Jokes |

Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, “Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair”. Paddy said to his pal, “Mick look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot […]

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Seeds

Posted by DMC on 21 March 2011 in Jokes |

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, “It is time for me to […]

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The Sneeze

Posted by DMC on 29 November 2010 in Jokes |

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, […]

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Golf Poem

Posted by DMC on 4 June 2010 in Jokes |

In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, Rather Small. Oh, How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere. By Its Size I Could Not Guess, The Awesome Strength It Does Possess. But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell. My Life Has Not Been […]

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If we only knew for sure

Posted by DMC on 1 May 2010 in Jokes |

If we only knew for sure Tony and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Tony watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne’s insistence on healthy foods and […]

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23 really awful oldies

Posted by DMC on 1 May 2010 in Jokes |

1. Two blondes walk into a building……….you’d think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message – ‘…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…’ 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, ‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.’ 4. I went […]

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Why Men Should Not Write Advice Columns

Posted by DMC on 3 March 2010 in Jokes |

Please click the image for the full sized version.

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Actual UK Passport Application

Posted by DMC on 3 March 2010 in Jokes |

Apparently this letter was actually received by a passport office: Dear Sirs, I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking […]

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